Brandi Hunter is a staff reporter whose column appears every Wednesday [Click to enlarge]

I received a letter from John* asking how he should handle some unexpected news he received from a family member. John, here is your answer:

I am assuming your younger brother decided to tell you he is gay before he tells anyone else in your family because he feels comfortable coming to you with any dilemmas he might be facing.

Take pride in the fact that he looks to you for guidance and comfort, and keep those things in mind when you talk to him. Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with his lifestyle, you need to continue to be the supportive older brother you said you have always been to him.

Make sure you are honest when you tell him how you feel about everything he has told you. Contrary to what many think, it is possible to be honest and supportive at the same time. He may not like what you have to say, but at least he will know how you really feel.

As for telling your mother and father, I don't know the best way to do it. Only the two of you know how to handle your parents. But I do agree that telling them should not be your responsibility. Since he doesn't seem to understand why it is something he needs to do on his own, try to explain it to him, and maybe even offer to be there with him when he tells them.

Whatever happens, I hope things work out for the best.

Truly yours,

Brandi Hunter

bhunter@memphis.edu

*name has been changed

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